big booty

So shrek was a good movie And then they made a bunch of games

There’s way more than that But that’s all I own

So here’s the first one Based on the first movie A launch title Exclusive to the original XBox Back in 2001

Well there’s a lot to take in here Firstly rated T for teen A game based on a kids movie

2nd All new enviroments  Plus new characters designed by Todd Mcfarlane The guy who created SPAWN

well Spawn was really popular at the time ANd had a big presence in video games here and there Fun fact In the super nintendo spawn game The very first level If you just stand still At the starting point

A waterfall of enemies will jump towards you Miss and infenetly fall to their deaths

Well let’s pop the shrek gae game in You know who I love That 1 revier that says Let’s pop this game in and he throws the game into the console in funny way You know the one I’m talking about

Oh Wow this is one of those old video game Where you can play instantly without  Having to sign up or instal anything Wow

Who made this

Dice  Yeah The Battlefield Battle Front Mirrors Edge Dice Really

And here we are at the title screen Off to a great start

Let me type in my name in the streets they call me Shrek kill o niel Aw not enough letters

The story mode does not follow the movie Instead the man in the mirror Tells you Merlin who appeared later in the 3rd movie Is terrorizing a village of color swapped clones

Shrek must stop him by doing good deeds So that the fog barrier around his castle vanishes And then he must beat up merlin

Okay Nonthing in this game feels like shrek Even down to the controls

Shrek is a huge lumbering ogre yet he rivals the mightiest olimpiens In Sprinting

I did not speed up the footage Look how fast this fucker books it He makes Sonic the HedgeHog look like  Chronic the Hedgehog He’s going faster than Walt Flanigans dog

And watch him pull donuts His speed compares to big rigs ogre the shrek racing

Nut just for sprintng but juping He can wall jump off anything It’s redonkeyloss

Shrek is unstoppable

Now what else is shrek capable of

farting and burping Tho if you get the chille peper power up You get exploding farts

metal all shrek really needs are his own 2 hand

You can pick people up and throw enemies Or just little chickens

Yeah take that Kick em Kick em


The big bad wolf pick him up Give em a kick in the real

Little sheeps Kick them

Bow peat Up agant the wall  Gaurd your grill and knuckle up

I must note no one dies in the game They just keep getting back up Truely an inspiration

You can get this Disney Cinderella knock off Throw her into a fire place Have her perpetually burn to deaeth And continue to pumel her

She won’t die but the pain is still there Is that not what hell is

Eventually these guys get fed up And group together to kill you

Oh waf fuck I’m sorry No please I didn’t mean it Ow

Being a menace to society was fun But what’s the gameply like  Think Mario 64 Pick a level to explor and choose one of several missions to complete

Tranditioanly the first level of every platforming game Is always the happiest blue sky Green grass stage Before things get sereous

I introduce you to shreks first non tootorial stage

Wow this place fucking sucks Welcom to euro disney land kids This is where my animation dreams died


Non of the enviroments  Besides the swamp are from the film You got a farm area that’s nice A cramp dark  castl interior A Dark cemetary A dark cramped sewer level  A castle exterior oh thank god sunlight

Other than Shrek His swamp and The man in the mirror nothing resembles the film

No farquad Donkey Fionna I think you can see the dragon up there

Instead you get Anime egg Disco Cow realistic giant spiders Realistic Giant rats Witch Egg realistic cocarach Fucking gross

Whiches rats spiders They should have called this game

This feels like one of those straight to video knock off fairy tale That sorta kinda looks official 

I wouldn’t be surpsided if The developers created some Dark Fairy tale game And last minute Paid for the lincence to use Shrek

These missions on the other hand  Are ether way too easy Or impossible

Like this one Collect the golden eggs Sure Seems simple

Just enter first stage

Oh what the fuck Get over here you voodoo vince little shit

Okay Collect the golden egs

I got all but 1 That’s up there How do I get it

How  Hod dammit It doesn’t make sense What am I suppose to do Fuck Help me Dammit Save me jefferey katsenburg

oh Thank Madoka How bou this one find the disco cow and fart on it Why

Let me remind you The goal in this game Is to do Good Deeds

The more good you do The more fog clears up

Your missions are all titled Good Deeds How is farting on animals contributing to soecierty

I heard cows are biggest producers of green house gasses for their bodily functions So maybe this is eviromentelist revenge

Yeah Lets see how you like it you damn cow Destroy the ozone layer will you This ones for al gore

We can title this game 100 good deeds of Shrek Does anyone remember that show 100 good deed of Eddie Mcdow?

Let me talk about this for a second This early 2000s nickelodeon show Where Seth Green played a bully

Until a wizard turned him into a dog And he has to do 100 good deeds to be human again

Which is such a ridiculous cocept Like really Seth Green playing a bully

If your being bullied by Seth Green Game Over

You might as be getting bullied by Glass Joe But back to shrek

Here’s a weird mission Humpty Dupty kidnapping Mother Gooses eggs And is teaching them how to fall down and potentially die

That’s fucked up Hypty Dumpty did appear in the movies 10 years later in the spin off Puss in Boots But also in other Shrek games Heres how humpty looks in the fighting game SHrek Super slam

Oh ohhhh no That’s a little racist in here Ohhh dear

Dumpty in this game doesn’t look too threatening

Aw what the fuck You wanna go  YOU WANNA GO

Yeah mess with me You mess with my swamp

Yeah fucking take it Yeahhhh breath it in

Some missions you’ll be  Collecting the same things Example these faries Ehhh

But many challenges Require picking up and moving characters It’s tricky You can hold certain enemies for seconds Without them doing damage to you It doesn’t help the levels are populated with villians who you can’t kill

You can’t kill anyone in this game They just keep going after you

Why not Would the game get an M rating Had you been able to kill enemies

Mario can kill enemies There’s T rated video games Where you can kill enemies in more violent ways

The wrost being this one where you have to Toss prisonders through a window Breaking out potentially voilent criminals Sure that’s sounds like a good deed

It wouldn’t be so bad But you can’t aim the camera upwards while gaining momentum

It’s freaking impossible

Whyyy Whhyyyy Just let them fly through window

if you really want a challenge You got Race mode It’s the same missions But with a time limit Like less than a minute You have no breathing room To mess up

You can’t call yourself a shekspert Until complete the challege We should be playing these in tournaments Who the fastest Sheqer arround

This game really had potential to be great As out of place is it is I like the speed and jumping  But stages are eather not interesting Or way too cramped and dark

While the missions weren’t thoguht out properly

You have to give it credit tho In 2001 this was praised for it’s graphic capablities 3d Bump maping textures That responded to different lighting Real time dynamic shadows

If you zoom into shrek His sleeves have a fabrick texture

With how cartoonish shrek is And realistic the enviroments try to be This game looks like a Skyrim mod with Shrek in it

It’s weirdly unsettling

New levels Oh and cutscenes Now Shrek does not speak in this game Besides a few grunts

So alll the cutscenes are just shrek Standing their with zero intrest

Oh, what about the damn fish?Edit

So, this fish is one of the 0.5-dimensional characters of this awful film. The hypocritical Oogieloves decided to drag him along despite telling J. Edgar he would slow them down.